P90: Week 2


Greetings, Nonathletes!

Confession: This week was about the same in the diet department: not great but not terrible (speaking of which, Ruffles All Dressed chips are amazing), and I ended up not working out Wednesday and Friday. So instead, I did a less than stellar Amazon.com free yoga workout Saturday morning in addition to Joel Freeman’s 8×8 workout on Beachbody OnDemand that night (I highly recommend it – 22 minutes of HELL on your legs and biceps).

Today, to make up for last week and to kick off Week 3 just right, I did the P90X3 Yoga routine right before today’s P90 Sculpt A, and I was pleasantly surprised to find that I have greatly improved at yoga! Despite not having done any yoga workouts lately, I attribute my new strength to two things: (1) The vinyasas at the beginning of every P90 workout and (2) The insane leg strength I’ve developed thanks to Sculpt A 3 days a week. Speaking of improved strength – when I started P90, I was doing max 50 lbs during pulldown exercises and 35 lbs on tricep pulldowns. As of today, I can now do 70 and 50 lbs respectively.

Between that and the physical toning I’m noticing, I’d say I’m not off to a bad start. If I’m able to, I’d like to do yoga 2-3 times a week in addition to my normal routine to make sure my flexibility is on point. I’m still liking the program and I’m glad to finally be halfway done with Month A.

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P90: Week 1


P90 may be called the “on switch to fitness” for people who haven’t worked out in a long time (or ever), but as someone who’s dabbled with INSANITY, P90X and X3, I can safely say that P90 is definitely a challenging program…if you make it challenging.

Any fitness expert could easily dog his way through this stuff and not get anything out of it. But by upping your speed, weights, squat and lunge depth, and overall intensity, you can make this legitimately hard to finish, especially if you focus on your overall weaknesses.

Case in point: I opted for the Sculpt calendar (3 days lifting, 3 days cardio) because I’ve always been more of a cardio man. I recognize that I need more lifting in my life to prevent bone and joint issues, to burn calories longer, and to be an overall stronger and fitter person. But what I’ve realized is that I actually enjoy Sculpt A more than Sweat A + Ab Ripper A. Maybe it’s due to the fact that deep down, even the most cardiophilic of men still have a primal desire to lift heavy things and put them down. Regardless, it’s still a fun butt-kicker of a workout. Sweat A + Ab Ripper A are nice, but Tony Horton is an admitted cardiophobe, so while you will sweat (I should hope so, it’s in the title), it probably won’t be the most fun you’ve had working out.

In terms of my diet (the REAL challenge), I have been very healthy and on top of my vitamins and water intake, but I will fully admit I could use a bit more discipline and order in the food department (pizza and wings were had this week, and that’s all I will say…also, pineapple and green peppers go very well together).

Still, not bad for my first week.

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Pray with Your Legs (Solar Beam)

Today marks the beginning of Black History Month, and the Internet has begun celebrating the life and memory of Frederick Douglass, the black author and orator who escaped slavery and became one of the biggest faces of the abolitionist movement. I was scrolling through my news feed when I came across a post by the American Humanist Association quoting Douglass:

“I prayed for 20 years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs.”

Douglass actually wasn’t an atheist, but rather most likely a Transcendentalist/liberal Unitarian, but that’s beside the point. Most of the comments on this post were what you’d see on any popular religious (or lack thereof)-driven Facebook page: self-congratulation and fervent bashing of anyone who dares have an opinion different from theirs (though in all fairness, I doubt this is the overall attitude of AHA). These comments were most likely from people who, like me, were driven from religion due to an abundance of judgmental douchebags and lack of any spiritual substance. To them, this quote is an affirmation that the real power is within us and therefore God does not exist.

I think they’re only halfway right.

The reason I can’t completely get behind their analysis of this quote is because they seem to have a completely different definition of “prayer” than I do. I covered this to a degree in my “Doing God” post, but my idea of prayer does not constitute asking an invisible sky daddy for everything I want. I pray not to search outward for strength, but inward. I pray to unleash my own potential and to realize my own strength, the strength that I believe God has imprinted upon me. Some would argue that internal prayer is inherently atheistic since you’re essentially searching for your own strength, but it’s my personal view that inner strength was given to us by HaShem to discover and channel.

Having said this, prayer without action is futile and empty. This is why I dislike the phrase, “I’ll pray for [insert tragic event].” This is usually a cop-out meaning, “as long as I ask God to make things, better that relieves me of any and all personal responsibility.” This is the complete and total antithesis to Judaism. Tikkun olam means, “repairing the world,” not “hoping the world will repair itself.” Prayer only works if you take the strength you summon and apply it to achieve your goal.

Case in point: Does anyone remember the grass-type move Solar Beam in the Pokemon games? It’s a move that requires the player’s Pokemon to skip a turn to “take in sunlight,” then unleash a powerful attack against its opponent. Most people pray by simply taking in sunlight, only to wonder why their “opponent” defeated them. You have to hold up your end of the bargain. You have to follow through by taking your channeled sunlight and solar-beaming the %@#! out of your adversary.

Does a loved one have cancer? Pray to unearth your inner strength and wisdom, then use it to comfort that person and assist them however you can. Did a natural distaster or terrorist attack occur? Meditate on it, then give your time and money toward helping those affected. Struggling with a financial or relationship crisis? Dig deep down and find the God-given strength to make a plan to get yourself out of it, then ACTUALLY WORK TO DO IT.

I don’t have much in the way of ending thoughts, except to say that I never thought I could combine 19th century abolitionists and Pokemon into a single blog post centering on personal action from a Jewish lens, but there you go. No matter what you believe, pray with your legs, use Solar Beam, whatever you want to call it. Just make sure it involves getting off your tuchus and getting things done.

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Hevenu Shalom Aleichem


For most of my childhood and adolescence, I had considered myself to be a Christian, but it wasn’t till I was 15 that I received what I thought was “The Holy Ghost” at my Pentecostal high school’s church and started taking my faith more seriously. One of the events that spurred this was attending a “passion play” the church was holding just in time for Easter. My science teacher of all people was going to play Jesus, my principal Pontius Pilate, my English teacher Nicodemus, etc.

I almost didn’t go. I could’ve done so much other stuff on a Friday night besides watching a play about a story I already knew, but for some reason, I felt spiritually compelled to attend. Once I arrived, I took my seat and the lights dimmed. Then, out of the darkness, a light appeared onstage and the first thing that caught my eye was near the ceiling. This church’s sanctuary normally has a small cream-colored cross just underneath the ceiling.

In place of this cross was a star of David.

And then the music started.

A bunch of actors in Biblical era clothing gathered on stage, some I recognized from my school faculty and student body, some I had never met from the church. A lively Yiddish musical soundtrack began playing, and everyone on stage danced around and singing in Hebrew. I could make out what they were saying: “Hevenu shalom aleichem.” I knew the last two words, but later found out the whole sentence means, “We brought peace upon you.”

This was my first live experience with Jewish music, and sitting there in that dimmed sanctuary hearing a language that was mysterious, yet somehow very familiar deep down in my soul, was totally mystifying. It was joyful and echoed centuries of love and life and learning with each beautiful chant. It even brought me closer to God, just not in the way I was used to as a Christian. I loved it. It fulfilled a part of me that conventional Christianity didn’t, and I wanted more.

This was most likely the event that spurred an “applied” interest in Judaism. While I never began studying Hebrew, I started referring to Jesus as Y’shua. It made me feel more authentic as a Christian and as an ethnic Jew. I researched Messianic Judaism, and the idea that I could marry my Christian upbringing with Jewish belief and practice made me absolutely joyous. Of course, my following research into why non-Messianic Jews rejected Jesus made me realize why the two religions aren’t compatible, but you get my point. It reawakened an interest in this part of myself and led me to where I am today.

Case in point: I was at Friday night Shabbat service this past week, and during the oneg, the Rabbi led us in some light singing to accompany our noshing. One of the songs was “Hevenu Shalom Aleichem.” A wave of nostalgia ran over me, and I couldn’t help but laugh to myself. Here I am, 26 years old, sitting in a Reform synagogue with a Sephardic kippah on my head, equipped with a different (yet equally fulfilling) relationship with God, singing a Hebrew song that I heard for the first time in a Pentecostal church.

It’s kind of funny: Those actors really did help bring peace upon me.

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Let Them Carry



As somewhat of a critic of organized religion (despite converting to an organized religion), one of my biggest complaints has always lied within some religions’ problem of misogyny. Religious texts placing questionable constructs on women have shaped civilization throughout the centuries, with the 19th and 20th centuries seeing a sharp and necessary advent in women’s rights, paving the ground work of creating equality with men. This has been seen in both secular and religious settings, the former providing women with access to education, jobs, and civil rights, and the latter encouraging egalitarianism in liberal synagogues and even rabbinic certification.

Regardless, more work needs to be done, and this is clearly evidenced by the recent actions of the Orthodox Jewish Melvin J. Berman Hebrew Academy in Rockville, Maryland. According to a Haaretz.com article, two female students, Lea Herzfeld and Yakira Zimand, wanted to carry their school’s Torah scroll around the sanctuary like their male classmates.

“We just felt like we were sitting in davening and didn’t have a meaningful experience. We don’t participate with anything with the Torah,” said Herzfeld. “We go to the back of the room whenever the Torah is being passed around and kiss it from a tiny spot behind the mehitzah.”

“It feels really uncomfortable to have a ton of girls try and squish into that really small spot to have any contact with the Torah,” said Zimand.

The students’ request was denied by the school’s headmaster, Joshua Levisohn. He stated that if the students acquired enough signatures on a petition, the issue would be reexamined. However, since their Change.org petition is “public” and not within the “school community”, the signatures are invalid. This controversy comes a decade after the school finally allowed boys to carry the Torah to the girls’ side of the sanctuary, permitting them to touch or kiss it.

Some may argue, “Well, it’s Orthodoxy. They’re obligated to follow all 613 mitzvot.” True, except there is no rule that says women cannot carry the Torah. Anywhere. It’s a social construct with ZERO halachic value. Still, the headmaster asserts that allowing girls to carry the Torah “narrows the separation between men and women in davening” and creates a “slippery slope, of using unorthodox methods for change in Orthodox practices.” I wholly disagree.

Women carrying the Torah around their sections do absolutely nothing to break the congregational divide of women and men in shul. It gives them the right to actively live and breathe their Judaism, to celebrate the physical evidence of their bond with God and Israel.

Additionally, women are carrying the Torah in more Orthodox congregations than ever now. Levisohn stated that “only” 20% of Orthodox congregations in the D.C. area allow women to carry, as if that’s supposed to justify his ruling. 20% is not a majority, but it’s also not scant. That’s a solid 1/5th of D.C. Orthodox Jewry openly saying that women have just as much a right to carry the most sacred of Jewish objects as men do. That number needs to grow, but it’s a damn good start.

But let’s put aside that this rule is clearly based on misogyny and has nothing to do with halacha. It’s giving Jewish girls and women a clear message that they aren’t good enough to embrace the Torah; and that, of course, drives them away from Judaism.

Sharon Weiss-Greenberg, the Executive Director of the Jewish Orthodox Feminist Alliance, weighed in by saying, “I’m not sure why it should be problematic to give women a moment with the sefer Torah, our holiest object,” adding that because of this baseless rule, “women aren’t showing up” to daven due to alienation. Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems like a pretty big responsibility of congregations is to NOT lose members.

Judaism, no matter the branch, is supposed to encourage all Jews to “do God” without judgment or shame, particularly by performing a ritual that honors their sacred yoke without breaking it. Forbidding an act solely for being “unusual” halts progress and contradicts the very values that make Judaism such a rich and beautiful religious civilization.

I encourage all Orthodox clergy to reexamine this rule, and more importantly, to ask their girls and women what they think. They may very well be surprised at how many people want to see a change take place; a change that can and will bring even more female congregants closer to their Judaism, and in turn, could very well change the world.

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Creep (2014)


*my review reposted from ForcedViewing.com*

Mark Duplass is a pretty awesome dude. He’s proven himself to be a fantastic director, sceeenwriter, and producer, as evidenced by his indie comedies, such as Cyrus and Jeff Who Lives at Home, just two of the features co-written, produced, and directed by him and his brother Jay. Not to mention the fact that he’s made a name for himself as an actor, from FXX’s fantasy football bro-sterpiece The League to other indie comedies like Safety Not Guaranteed. He’s even branched out into horror, with one of his latest films being the creepy-as-fuck looking The Lazarus Effect.

Speaking of horror, there’s another entry in the genre he has under his belt: the little-known independent found footage flick Creep.

Duplass portrays Josef, a socially awkward loner who owns a cabin in the remote mountainous forest who enlists the help of a Craigslist ad videographer named Aaron (Patrick Brice, also the film’s director) to film a short video diary for his unborn son before he dies of brain cancer. As we are introduced to this man, we instantly feel sympathy for him, but as Aaron’s camera continues to roll, we see that he’s not simply quirky. There are deep issues bubbling beneath the surface that slowly come to light.

Brice plays the typical jaded yet kinda stupid millennial protagonist in over his head, and he’s someone who probably should be doing background checks on his clients before meeting them in remote cabins in the mountains. Regardless, when shit gets real, we can’t help but feel sorry and scared for the poor sap, but also want to see just how far his life spirals after encountering Josef.

Speaking of Josef: Duplass has always struck me as a fine actor, mostly from his comedic environments in which he typically plays the “straight” man. His role as Josef, however, absolutely floored me. He fits the titular role of a “creep” exceptionally well, from his bizarre confessions to his sole confidant to his blank, glossy eyes and that innocently sinister smile. Yet despite his inherent…well, creepiness, you can’t help but also feel a bit sorry for him. Something within him snapped to turn him into the manipulative, violent person we’re introduced to, and I was sincerely skeeved out BIG-TIME by the film’s end.

The cinematography and editing are both not unlike what you’d get from a well-made found footage movie, but what especially struck me was the genius staging and lighting of certain scenes. The scene in which Josef invites Aaron back into the cabin for a drink before he leaves is particularly chilling, for we see Josef completely blackened in front of his cabin lights, a shadowy spectre warning our poor protagonist of what’s to come.

And afterward, every encounter with Josef somehow becomes creepier than the last, popping up in ways and places that could inspire even the most constipated of viewers to collectively shit their pants. The lack of music throughout the movie is especially important, for it creates a genuine, organic sense of fear and paranoia, with only our dark thoughts and predictions as the accompanying soundtrack.

I’ve always been of the opinion that an actor doesn’t need range to be a master at his craft, but it certainly helps, and Mark Duplass proved he definitely has it in spades in this movie. If you want to see a genius filmmaker give arguably the best acting role of his career to date, definitely check Creep out. Just be sure to wash it down with a few of his adventures with Taco and Ruxin on The League so you don’t go completely insane.

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From “Finding God” To “Doing God”


“I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are saying there ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like … you do God.”

– Tova bat Avraham v’Sarah (“Black” Cindy Hayes), Orange is the New Black

Most practitioners of the art of “binge watching” recognize that monologue, given by an inmate of the fictional Litchfield Correctional Facility. In a rather humorous attempt to fake Jewishness to score better-tasting kosher prison food, Cindy ironically discovers that she wants to convert to Judaism, taking on the Hebrew name Tova (טוֹבָה).

Her speech inspires the rabbi, whom she solicited to be in her beit din (conversion court), and he instantly approves her to become Jewish. This is not how conversion works, since the rabbi would have her spend months reading, debating, and practicing Judaism and THEN approve her, but for all intents and purposes, after she took a dip in the nearby (also halachically-questionable) lake, she’s Jewish.

I really like this speech for two reasons. First, her experience mirrored my own (aside from the whole prison thing). I was raised in the A.M.E.C. (African Methodist Episcopal Church) and attended Christian school for most of my childhood. I’m grateful for this, considering I believe church and private school kept me out of trouble and instilled certain values which I still hold to this day. Additionally, as I matured, so did my faith, since Jesus became more of an authentic positive force in my life as a teenager, as opposed to just a living embodiment of God that I revered as a child.

However, I was also raised to believe in heaven and hell, the former for saved and baptized Christians and the latter for sinners and Christians who haven’t confessed their sins to Jesus. As a child with a fear of the unknown, the concept of hell terrified me. Eternity in a lake of fire? For committing even a minor sin like lying or swearing? It was what kept me praying all the time. Before every meal, before bedtime, even at random points during the day. I wanted so badly to be on God’s good side that I prayed to the heavens for forgiveness of my sins, always ending with, “In Jesus’ name, amen.”

The phrase “to the heavens” is important, because this is one of many instances where certain sects of Christianity and Judaism differ. This is not only because Jews are unsure of the existence of heaven, but also because God is not something “above” me, God is both beyond me and within me; God simply “is”. As humans, we partner with God, not simply bow to her.

This is why we say blessings over wine and bread as opposed to grapes and wheat. What’s not as crucial is the fact that God created grapes and wheat, but rather our partnership with God to create wine and bread as nourishment. The application of taking what is and transforming it into something else entirely for the good of mankind is “doing God.”

By observing Shabbat, I’m doing God. By communing with my friends and family, I’m doing God. By exercising and eating right, by writing and reading, by creating a life that brings happiness to myself and others and repairing the world, I’m doing God.

As a Christian, I worshiped God by flattering him. I prayed to the heavens in exaltation, I shouted and cried to God, getting lost in her, as if I were on some drug no man could ever duplicate. Jews exalt God during prayer too, but as a more focused (and emotionally collected) means to an end. Prayer and study bring us closer to God not because it flatters her, but because it empowers us. It gives us the strength and confidence to fulfill our goals and destinies, to change the world, to “do God.”

I have no need to find God. God has already been there even when I didn’t fully believe in him and even when I hated him. What matters to me now is seeing God not just as a proper noun, but as a proper verb.

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Update and thoughts on Les Mills COMBAT so far

So sorry for the absence! It’s been a hectic past couple of weeks, but rest assured I have been getting my workouts in except for 3 days when I was out of town at a convention, busy as heck and low energy. However, I’m back on track with COMBAT and currently doing a 3 day Shakeology cleanse to kickstart my nutrition back up. I also have a cold though, so working out has been the LAST thing I want to do, but I’ve been pushing play anyway.

So, I have to say that Les Mills COMBAT might honestly be what my Beachbody Coach calls a “soulmate” workout: a program that you actually kind of look forward to doing on a daily basis. I thought INSANITY was my soulmate workout, but I just don’t really have the same passion for it that I do for COMBAT. I keep saying this, but I just love the sense of control and power it inspires without wearing me down mercilessly or taking up a ton of my time. I’m most likely going to be doing a Les Mills PUMP-COMBAT hybrid this fall, which I’m really looking forward to even though I don’t love PUMP quite as much as COMBAT. I’m confident the addition of more weights will be good for my body. Hell, I might just do a P90X-COMBAT hybrid instead. Hmmm, we shall see.

I can’t promise I’ll be updating daily during the coming weeks due to some big changes going on in my life, but I will chime in whenever inspiration strikes. I owe it to you guys, and myself.

Keep it real and *kisses fist* stay with the fight.

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Les Mills COMBAT Day 9: Power HIIT 1 and T-Rex Tuesday!


Greetings, Nonathletes!

Today, I met my nemesis in battle again, and while I may not have been able to perform every single burpee-pushup-jump-squat and had to modify the occasional lunge and lower my weights again, I did a LOT better this time around than before!

This should have been more obvious since I did INSANITY, but I’ve found that the secret to overcoming high intensity interval training, especially workouts like this which utilize both calisthenics and fast-paced weight training, is a clear mind and an absolute determination pre-workout. That applies to any and all workouts, sure, but personally, these plyometrics and clean and presses required me to psych the hell up and NEED to win, NEED to finish as much as I can, NEED to meet my friend fatigue head on!

Oh, and I may not have completely overcome the workout, but don’t worry…I’m doing it again on Thursday. Oh, joy.

My nutrition today was spot on, although I got another really bad craving, this time for Buffalo Wild Wings and their infamous Wing Tuesday, or as I like to call it, T-Rex Tuesday (Chickens evolved from T-Rexes, right?). I’ve been getting nightly cravings a LOT recently, and tonight’s was stronger than ever. I wanted nothing more than to slam 12 wings, tossed in their signature Hot sauce, juicy and falling off the bone, accompanied by some crispy and soft potato wedges covered in cheddar, paired with a nice little side of blue cheese dressing and some Seagram’s 7 whiskey.

But as I’ve said, I want to transform my body, my soul, and my mind more than I want a quick junk food fix, and that’s why I didn’t eat that despite wanting it more than ever. It takes strength to prioritize what’s important long term over what’s important in the heat of the moment, and I might slip up and indulge now and again, but not tonight. And not tomorrow. Not anytime soon. Not until I feel that I truly have EARNED the right to indulge, after I’ve put in work and done something GOOD for myself because that’s what I deserve. That’s what we all deserve.

Keep it real and *kisses fist* stay with the fight.

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Les Mills COMBAT Day 8: Combat 60


I have to say, doing Combat 60 (which is more like Combat 54, but that’s ok), I felt like a phoenix rising from the ashes of the night before. I felt powerful, unstoppable, completely focused. My front and back kick combos were on point, my footwork was getting noticeably faster, and in general I had a really solid workout. While the MMA workouts might not be as excruciatingly exhausting as INSANITY (that’s what we have the HIIT workouts for), they require an intense amount of focus and discipline if you want to burn as many calories as possible. Maybe it’s in my head, but thanks to LMC, I’m already noticing myself slim down a bit.

Later that night, I had some cravings again. It’s always in the evenings, I very rarely want Taco Bell in the morning or afternoon. I guess it’s just the psychology of wanting a reward like that at the end of the day, since I’d reward myself with food like that almost all the time after class ended during college. But you know what I did? I talked to my Beachbody Coach. She’s always been there for me and is an amazingly kind, intuitive and strong individual, and she helped break down why I was craving that food, and explained that eating crap like that isn’t cool or awesome or funny, it’s disgusting and not indicative of what makes a person strong. Now working out 5-6 days a week and eating things your body loves, now that’s a different story. I just want to take this time to thank her from the bottom of my heart, and thank all of you for the likes. Feel free to comment and engage in discussion as well, this blog isn’t just for me, it’s for nonathletes (AND athletes!) everywhere who have something on their minds.

Keep it real and *kisses fist* stay with the fight.

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